It began with the statement, "You have such inner beauty!" I'd been exclaiming over the fact that my younger child is on the verge of turning 30, bemoaning the awareness that my own 30th birthday seemed but a decade or so ago. (NOT!)
The beautiful, young woman - just a little older than my son - who made this statement was completely sincere and, in fact, invited me to write about it. I accepted the challenge and began to examine the concept of "inner beauty" in an attempt to define it. Defining this term is particularly daunting because, while I know how I look on the outside and feel on the inside, I'd never really thought about my inner processes being obvious to others.

So…just what is this inner quality, and where did it come from? In my case, I believe it's from a lifetime of searching for answers and accepting what is so. (Think, "Don't sweat the small stuff!") It's about acknowledging my connection to the universe and claiming my place in it, including my obligation to care for it. It's self-care; taking time for myself - to reflect, ponder and nurture me. It's also caring about others; the two children I raised, the four step-children I've helped to raise, my darling husband, my clients, my neighbors, my fellow inhabitants of the planet. It's about becoming the best I can possibly be, and noticing any slippage in this area, then seeking to correct that by whatever means are available to me.
"Correcting slippage" takes a myriad of forms, from taking a "mental health day" for myself, to reading a self-help book, having a massage or exercising, doing a seminar, taking a vacation or talking things over with my husband, a friend or a therapist. Yes, indeed, working with a therapist is essential at times for my balance and well-being. It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. And forgiveness - of myself as well as others - is a necessity.

Adventure and change are important components of my life, providing the newness, discovery and challenge that make life, for me, exciting and worth living. And "going inside" to connect with Spirit - consciously, regularly - is essential to that inner glow. In fact, my connection with God may be the bottom line when it comes to the inner processes resulting in observable beauty!

Growth, healing, intellectual and cultural stimulation all lead to the enthusiasm that produces an inner-to-outer glow, as does connecting with others for pleasure and play. Being true to oneself is requisite, I believe, even when this means making painful decisions and choices. Inner beauty results from the freedom of recognizing that everything in life involves choice. We, individually, choose what we will do in our lives, and how we feel about doing what we do as well. Recognize this, and your path will be smoother!

Inner beauty comes from balance in one's life, from watching for overload (or UNDERload) in any one area, then correcting the imbalance. This may mean defining what a balanced life looks like, with categories such as physical, mental and spiritual, then noticing what percentage of one's time is devoted to each. Balancing all areas means a well-rounded, joyful life.

Find ways to love yourself, your life and everything and everyone in it. Before long, folks will be admiring your inner beauty, too!