What happened next was described as one of the strangest events the trooper had ever witnessed.

As the Lincoln approached, it suddenly slowed down until it came to a complete stop in the driving lane, right beside the trooper. Then the automatic passenger-side window of the Lincoln came down.

The trooper lowered his window, too.

"Essh there a problem offisssher?" the obviously intoxicated driver asked, leaning over the passenger seat.

"Nope," said the surprised trooper, "I'm just sitting here waiting on you. Why don't you pull over in front of me and let's have a little chat."

They did. The drunk went to jail.

The trooper said the man was extremely unhappy to be arrested for drunken driving since he'd only stopped to see if the trooper needed any help.

Troopers say they can never predict a drunk's behavior as is evident in this next story.
If you're going to be chosen anyway, might as well volunteer

Another trooper was on routine patrol one evening and noticed a pickup truck weaving considerably over the center stripe on the roadway ahead of him. Suspecting the driver might be drunk, the trooper pulled the truck over.

As both vehicles came to a stop on the shoulder, the trooper radioed his location and the pickup's license plate information to the dispatcher. Then he noticed the driver of the truck get out.

The driver, stumbling slightly, walked to the back of his truck, placed his hands on the tailgate and "assumed the position."

The trooper approached him and asked what he was doing.

With severely bloodshot eyes, the man said, "Well, officer, It's obvious I'm drunk and you're going to arrest me anyway so I was jus' gettin' myself ready."

The trooper obliged the man and took him to jail. The trooper claimed it was one of the nicest drunken driving arrests he'd ever made.

No one ever pays attention until you make a mistake

Two troopers were conducting a spot check of licenses and insurance on a state road near Lake Maloney. Cars were stopped and lined up in both directions as the troopers checked credentials. One trooper handled southbound traffic while the other talked to northbound drivers.

All went smooth until one trooper radioed his partner that he had a suspected drunken driver in his lane and would begin processing him. The other trooper quickly cleared the cars in his lane then began walking the several hundred feet to the other trooper's location.

As he approached the suspect's car, he noticed the driver light a cigarette.

"No smoking," the trooper said as he brutally jerked the cigarette from the man's lips and crushed it into the ground with his foot. The trooper was alert to the 15-minutes of waiting time required by law before a breathalyzer test could administered.

"Sorry partner," the trooper then hollered over to his colleague, "your drunk driver was smoking, better start your 15-minute count over from now."

"What are you talking about?" said the trooper's partner, "I have the drunk over here trying to walk heel-to-toe in a field sobriety test. There was a passenger in his car, maybe he moved into the driver's seat."

Sure enough, the trooper hadn't seen his partner with the man back behind the cars. Realizing what had happened, the trooper walked back to the car. The window was down.
"Uhh…it's OK if you smoke now," the trooper sheepishly said.

Accident investigations can also reveal some odd facts, if only to remind us that wildlife and automobiles don't always mix.
New Yorkers can tell where the buffalo roam

A trooper responded to the report of a one-car accident at 4 o'clock one autumn morning. He arrived at the scene to see a distraught driver standing beside his car that had New York plates. The man said he was driving to California to visit relatives.

The trooper could see serious damage to the front of the man's car but it still looked like it could be driven.

"What happened?" the trooper asked.

"You'll never believe this officer," the frantic man said, "I hit one of those buffaloes that roam around out here on the range."

Looking around, the trooper saw barbed-wire fences on both sides of the road and, since it was the fall and rutting season, he knew what the man likely saw was a deer.

But he didn't let on.

Squinting his eyes and moving his head left to right slowly, in a broad swivel, he lowered his voice.

"Let's pull up here to the next exit and fill out an accident report," the trooper said quietly. "It's best you not stay here and get caught by the Indians. They won't like it when they find out you hit one of their buffaloes."

"Yeah, OK, whatever you say officer," the wide-eyed New Yorker said. "C'mon, quick, let's go."

This settles it, Nebraska needs more trees

Another trooper responded to a single-car accident on a hot summer afternoon. An ambulance was already at the scene, treating the driver who claimed he'd lost consciousness for a moment.
The trooper observed the smashed front-end of the driver's car and the demolished sign post that he hit but could see no indication of what could have caused the accident.

The excited driver, with a left eye that was swollen shut, was receiving medical attention.

The trooper interviewed the driver, thinking he must have fallen asleep or not been paying attention to the road.

"I was struck by a bird," the man said.

"On the windshield?" the trooper inquired. "No, in the eye," the grumpy man said.

The trooper investigated and, sure enough, found some blood on the outside of the door on the car's driver's side and a woodpecker's head inside, on the floorboard.

The trooper then walked back about 300 feet from where the car sat and found the decapitated body of the woodpecker lying in the median.

The man, who had been driving with his window open, lost consciousness momentarily after the woodpecker violently slammed into the left side of his head. That's when he swerved off the road and hit the sign.

The trooper chalked it up to a case of careless flying.

She was about to break her curfew too

Troopers rushed to the scene of a single-car rollover and found an 80-year-old woman crawling out the broken window of her overturned car. The woman, who had been wearing her seatbelt, was uninjured but shaken up by the incident.

As troopers took her information and she calmed down, she asked, "My dad won't find out about this will he?"

The troopers giggled at first, thinking she was kidding, then stopped laughing when they realized she was dead serious.

Turns out the woman was driving from Denver to Council Bluffs, Iowa, to help her father celebrate his 100th birthday.

"Not unless you tell him," the troopers replied.

The troopers figured the woman's dad to be one strict father.

Who ya gonna call? Emu busters!

One summer night troopers responded to a motorist's report of a monster on the highway.
It didn't take troopers long before they found the beast.

Dashing across traffic lanes was an emu that had jumped a fence from a local ranch.
With the help of the bird's owner, the troopers were able to herd the frightened monster back to its pen before any harm was done.

They took weather exposure to a new height

Lincoln County Sheriff's Deputies once investigated a flood of calls to the dispatch center of two bare-naked people, a man and a woman, standing out on the highway.

Deputies rushed to the scene because it was February and only 20 degrees outside. They were afraid someone might freeze to death.

The deputies found out the couple had just met that day in Denver and were overcome with amorous desire while traveling eastbound.

They had pulled off the Interstate, parked by the side of the road and embraced in passion.

Once done, they decided to hop out of the car for only a second to cool off. The driver left the motor and heater running.

Once out of the car though, the driver realized they had locked themselves out of the warmth and protection of the idling car. By the time deputies arrived, the desperate couple had broken out a side window with a rock.

The deputies reported that the couple's faces were nearly as red as the paint job on the car itself.