It was quite obvious that the guys in the back were goners, but the guy slumped over in the driver's seat was a different situation all together.

Smith had a creepy feeling deep in his gut. The van was black, the night was dark and if someone would have started playing an organ right then and there, he might have lost it.

He picked up his radio, called for assistance and did his best to calm himself down. He crept along side the van and kept hunkered down as he tried to keep below the windows. He was still shook up by the bodies, but sleeping beauty looked like something out of a bad dream.

Smith eased up the side of the van. He rose up ever so gently and looked in the window - and directly into the eyes of the no longer slumbering villain! The driver was so shook up when he saw Smith's face pressed against the glass, he started screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Agggghhhhhhhh!!!!"

The officer forgot his composure. He forgot what was routine. In fact, if you had asked him right then, he might not have been able to tell you his middle name. He took a quick step back and returned the culprit's scream with a scream of his own.

"Waaaahhhhhhhhh!!!"

Understandably, this shook sleeping beauty up even more and he screamed even louder.

The two of them returned screams for what must have seemed like an eternity, creating a scene that would have been quite amusing to any on-looker.

Later, over a cup of coffee, the poor mortuary worker explained to Smith that he was simply taking the two bodies from Texas to South Dakota. He had grown weary during the ride and thought he'd stop for a quick 20 winks.

He may not have gotten a peaceful rest, but one thing was for sure - he'd have no problem staying awake on the last leg of the trip now.

------------------------

It wasn't so much the swerving, nor the fact that the elderly lady could barely see over the wheel that caught the officer's attention. It was the fact that she'd ran a red light. A traffic violation if ever there was one. The officer hit the lights and started pursuit.

Normally, a perpetrator would just pull on over to the curb calmly and allow the routine traffic stop to commence. There would be the presentation of the driver's license, perhaps the typical explanation, maybe a little pleading. It should all have been standard.

But not this grandma. She kept right on task with her driving. And not for just a block or two, but for quite a distance.

It wasn't exactly as if she was fleeing to avoid arrest - she was only doing 20 miles per hour, for Pete's sake.

The officer sounded his warning siren a couple of times, flashed his headlights and, need we mention, the ever loving cherries were still doing their thing on top of the police cruiser?

People pulled alongside the road to let the progression pass. They stared and smiled as they noticed the policeman in chase of his lawbreaker. Everyone noticed but Grandma.
Finally, she turned into a gas station and pulled up to the pumps, effectively ending the hot pursuit.
The officer went up to her vehicle and tapped on the window.

Granny rolled it down, handed the officer a $20 and said, "Fill it up with regular. And make it snappy."

"Ma'am," the officer said in disbelief, "I'm a police officer."

"So what then, you can't fill it?" came her snippy reply.

"Ma'am! I'm pulling you over for running a red light," the officer declared.

"Now listen here," Grandma replied, "You didn't pull me over. I pulled in here myself. And I do not see any stop lights around."

"The red light was about 15 blocks back," said the officer in exasperation.

"Well, young man, then tell me - why did you wait until now to pull me over?"

------------------------

Officer Jones was having a slow night when he noticed a large group of juveniles hanging out in a parking lot. They seemed to be up to no good and they noticed the officer right away.

They weren't breaking the law by any stretch of the imagination. Still, since things were going slow, he thought he'd check it out.

He drove by slowly, giving them "the look." Of course, being juveniles, they were giving "the look" right back.

Smith was thoroughly enjoying the stare down and truly felt he had some serious intimidation going on when he rear-ended the car in front of him.

Radioing in to the station to report a traffic accident may be standard, but just like a lawyer is ill-advised to take his own case, should an officer write up the report for his own 10-44?